You're so ugly, when you applied for the ugly contest the judges told you, "sorry no professionals."

You're so ugly, bakers pushed your face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.

You're so ugly, your parents gave you a middle name... "accident."

You're so ugly, you made blind kids cry.

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You're so fat, small objects orbit around you.

You're so fat, you're belt size is Equater.

You're so fat, whenever you bend over we enter Daylight Savings Time.

You're so fat, your Passport photo says 'Picture is continued other side'

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You're so poor, you had to eat Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.

You're so poor, when I rang your doorbell, YOU said, "Ding-Dong!"

You're so stink, you made Right Guard go Left.

You're so stink, even you're poo is glad to escape.

You're so dirty, when you decided to take a bath, the water jumped out of the tub and said, "I'll wait."

You sing so terrible, you made deaf people laugh.

------------------

My homies came up with these jokes...

Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because when the white man starts the chainsaw it grouls, "runnn-nigga-nigga-nigga!"
          -homegirl cherry

What do you call a white baby? An Angel.
What do you call a black baby? A Bat.
          -homeboy justin



» I apologize if any of these jokes were offending. It's amazing on what jokes you can find on Yahoo.com these days. ^_^